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Anu Chan

My heartbeat echoed

The deafening silence as it grew

Ran a mile, not just yet

Stigma marked its way across.


The disappointment rings loud

In voices unheard

And words unspoken.


The serene calmness in your eyes

Hid the anger beneath

In a flash they changed

Rejection, Dismissal, Grief and then Relief

Reflected in your eyes and you looked away.


Until today I never learnt the reason

For the last to form in your pools of brown.


It took a while yet now I know;

For questions ring in my head all night long

They sing a goodnight’s song.

While you are calm

And your smile isn’t a mask.


Now I know;

Relief came in the closure we deserved

The closure you got through my words

Your questions answered and worries cleared

All pain replaced with the feeling of a dull void of emptiness.

But my part was never delivered

For you never looked back to see

Tears staining my face.


And now I know

Why I never should’ve let you go.

Maybe we could’ve fixed it.

Maybe we could’ve fixed us.

The closure I deserved

Never came my way.


And nights upon nights

I toss and turn around in my sleep;

Questions they sing a song

All night long.


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