My heartbeat echoed
The deafening silence as it grew
Ran a mile, not just yet
Stigma marked its way across.
The disappointment rings loud
In voices unheard
And words unspoken.
The serene calmness in your eyes
Hid the anger beneath
In a flash they changed
Rejection, Dismissal, Grief and then Relief
Reflected in your eyes and you looked away.
Until today I never learnt the reason
For the last to form in your pools of brown.
It took a while yet now I know;
For questions ring in my head all night long
They sing a goodnight’s song.
While you are calm
And your smile isn’t a mask.
Now I know;
Relief came in the closure we deserved
The closure you got through my words
Your questions answered and worries cleared
All pain replaced with the feeling of a dull void of emptiness.
But my part was never delivered
For you never looked back to see
Tears staining my face.
And now I know
Why I never should’ve let you go.
Maybe we could’ve fixed it.
Maybe we could’ve fixed us.
The closure I deserved
Never came my way.
And nights upon nights
I toss and turn around in my sleep;
Questions they sing a song
All night long.